Tryin to Find a Balance

three rivers

I like the idea of a “skeletal structure.” Let’s say it again: skeletal structure. Doesn’t it just sound interesting? (or is it just my obsession with alliteration coming through). A friend of a friend said that to me off-hand last week, and it has stayed with me like the lyrics of a terrible pop song.

For me, the term represents the concept of having goals and general plans but never fleshing things out too much. It is about letting go of expectations and accepting life as it comes. It is about respecting the fact that the beauty of life is in the details while understanding we can’t plan and shouldn’t try to control what those details will be. If we want to get real deep and philosophical here (indulge me), it represents, for me, the yin and yang of life. A solid form balances a fluid space.

I don’t think most people do well with no structure. We all seek some sort of guidance. When a teacher says you can write about anything, suddenly your mind goes blank. Anything is too much. When we have an abundance of possibilities, we become helpless, floundering fish wondering why we ever left the water. That’s how I felt up until a week and a half ago.

What changed? Well, it’s simple really. I made a decision. This is huge for me. Decisiveness has never been a strength of mine. With the decision made, I gained direction. I have a structure that I can build around. I have a fixed point in a sea of swirling dots.

You could say that my new found direction has propelled me forward. I was a ball stuck on the top of a hill but now that a friendly foot has kicked me into gear, my momentum is a rollin’. I can barely sleep. I’ve been brimming with energy, practically spilling over with go-getterness. And this brings me to the next pivotal moment. Before I spin out of control with projects, I need to prioritize. Learning to know where to focus my energy is a skill in itself, a skill I am trying to develop.

Focus eludes many of us in today’s ADD world. For real, most of us only have the attention span of 140 characters, tops. I know this is true for me at least. I blame those damn embedded links they put in articles! I always have a minimum of 10 tabs open on my browser (no joke, it is out of control). So, what’s the solution? Well, I’m pondering this now. Think it out with me.

Maybe when we feel pulled in a thousand directions by things that all seem essential, we can pause before we are pulled apart. We can be still. If we stop moving, maybe we can feel which forces tug us internally. Maybe this quiet space will allow us to hear where we should direct our energy. Maybe we just need to remind ourselves that sometimes it is okay to do nothing for a moment. It is actually more than okay. It means we can breathe. In and out. Black and white. Form and space. Yin and yang.

Bam. We just took this bitch full circle. But really, I think Slug said it best: we are all just “tryin’ to find a balance.”

rivers 2

Photos from a wonderful collaboration I did with the lovely Josie Schweitzer, owner of my favorite yoga studio: Thank Yoga. Check it out here: http://thankyoga.blogspot.com/2013/07/age-aint-nothin-but-number.html

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